1. Compassion and questions of mental illness in history
2. Compassionate people can expect to loose in court
3. Did my attempts at compassion cause my mental illness?
4. Was I wrong to expect compassion from other people?

1. Compassion and questions of mental illness in history

Many people who demonstrated great compassion in history also seem to have been questioned about mental illness.  Joan of Arc is my favorite example of someone with compassion questioned if mentally ill.  It is also believed that she was motivated by fear.  Jesus is another example, for he was questioned as if he was crazy.  I will try to find links to examples and place them here.

How many compassionate people have been called "geeks", "nerds", or otherwise crazy and unwanted?  I have known people who pride themselves on being "tough" and hateful against compassionate individuals.  These people seem to enjoy attacking compassion.

In business compassion seems to be a sin.  There does not seem to be any profit in helping customers or employees.  Instead it seems that people are an expendable resource, you can always find people to replace those you lost?  It does not surprise me that people treated this way tend to "return the favor" and do not care if they harm the business.  Why show compassion to a business which shows no compassion?

If you tried to live only by compassion today, many people would try to take advantage of you.  How do you defend yourself without giving up on compassion?  Living with compassion can make you crazy trying to figure out how to do the right thing.  There seems to be no way to win.
 

2. Compassionate people can expect to loose in court

Our legal system is based on one side attacking another.  It is an environment for fear.  If the defendant is too compassionate, can they defend themselves?  You can not expect a truly compassionate person to know how to fight back.  Fools who see this as a sign of guilt are unlikely to understand the nature of compassion.

This was one of my weak points when the civic group kept attacking  me (as a member, stalking claims, and in civil court).  Attacking back was not in my nature, it took time to understand and reply to their complaints.  I also had the misfortune to believe that they might have some compassion.  I thought that everyone had compassion in their basic human nature, like myself.  The court case proved to me that I was wrong to believe in the compassion of other people.  Bigotry is more popular than compassion.

Opposing lawyers do not care if you are honest or honorable.  Your ability to fight back is all that matters.  Often they try to upset you with your fears.  If you are too compassionate to fight back, then you are doomed.

Is this justice, or a sham attempt to claim justice?^*  Criminals have a better chance to win in court than compassionate people.  It is the nature of an overly adversarial system.  By simply not understanding the rules in court you can loose.  Is this any more compassionate than the standards of dangerous criminal organizations?
 

3. Did my attempts at compassion cause my mental illness?

Compassion is my way of life, not something I do when I feel like it.  It makes living in this world hard as hell.  Add fear, then what happens?  Is it worth it?  I can't seem to live with myself if I give up on compassion, so I have no choice!  Could this cause mental illness?

As a child I seemed to attract the attention of compassionate adults.  They seemed to think I was a good example of a concerned individual, like my teachers at Fort Knox, Kentucky and at King's School in Gütersloh, Germany.  Compassion was easy for me.  Many problems resulted when I was expected to be aggressive.  I did not understand the point of being aggressive when it was better to work together for common goals.

Was my compassionate nature a bad thing when I joined the army? (See my army experience.)  They do not test you to see if compassion might interfere with your ability to be a soldier, like being aggressive or able to kill.  If anything, I seemed to get in trouble because I chose compassionate methods instead of demonstrating aggressive ones.  Was I a bad soldier because I did not fight back when confronted?

Compassion plus fear may be more likely to cause, or worsen, mental illness.  (See The Fear response - fight, flight, or compassion? on the main page.)
 

4. Was I wrong to expect compassion from other people?

I expected compassion from other people because it was my most basic motivation.  Instead I was called a dangerous person because I admitted having a mental illness.  (See "They say that I will kill them.")

In the end, I feel that trying to fit my compassionate nature into an aggressive society helped to make me crazy.  People seem to think you are lying if you claim your motives are compassionate.  If people will not believe the truth when you tell them, then how can you win?

If I was to give up on compassion, then why not be a rapist, killer, psychopath, terrorist, criminal, etc.?  I have not been able to let go of compassion because it is in my nature.  No one has been able to force me to give up on compassion.  Many people have tried and driven me crazy in the process.

God is compassionate.  It is my faith.
 
 
 

" Is compassion worth it?  I can't seem to live with myself if I give up on compassion,  so I have no choice!"

 

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* Sham legal process?