My crazy beliefs:  God, Life, Universe, Everything
Topics:  Foolishness, Infinite Universe, Patterns, Compassion, Atheist, God, and Hell.
 - by Mike Lake

(Theory of everything ... in part)

Logically everything must exist, or be true, at some place at some time.  Infinity and probability are why, as explained below.  There is a horror and beauty to this logic.  It is in the magnitude of information.  Everything you can experience or imagine plus infinitely more.  Only logic, math, and ethics would seem to exist outside this structure of our ordered chaos.

Everything called solid in this universe is actually a ghost in a subatomic chaos of mass/energy.  You will never know a theory of everything unless you can keep your mind open to being wrong.  It is chaos that fools people.  It is the actual foundation.  The order in the universe may be nothing more than luck of the cosmic dice.  Something in the chaos spiked near infinity.

(You can figure out everything else from these clues.  I have my own life to worry about.)

Base formula for all of existence:

(infinity) x 1/(infinity) = 1

''(infinite existence) times (infinitely small chance) equals one''

This is the only logical reason for the "big bang" origin of the universe in quantum terms.

The above is my view of reality and why I can be a genius.  In an infinite universe the impossible seems certain.  Anything should be possible in infinity.  You need to be at the right place at the right time, or close enough.

(See  z-schizophrenia.pdf  for some more crazy ideas.)

Hidden in the fabric of the universe is what we are and what we will be...

Human Foolishness

The path to wisdom starts with knowing foolishness.  It takes failure to see the value in wisdom.  It takes pain to truly motivate a quest for knowledge and improvement.  Those who believe that they have it all, know everything, and fear nothing are doomed to chaos.  The universe will do what it will do despite what you believe.  Wisdom is learning to live with the universe because nothing will change parts of it's nature.

I only need to look at TV to see how foolish mankind can be:

Those who believe that they rule the world have proven little in the long run.  Those who believe their world is being controlled need to learn how to live with life.  Those who believe that they can predict human behavior know little of wisdom, thoughtfulness, and chaos.  Those who believe they can predict the future forget about people like me.  I think ahead and try to change what concerns me.  Predictions be damned.

Those who believe that they can destroy what they fear often cause their own destruction as a result.  Enemies make better friends than as provoked enemies.  Those who are not interested in friendship are often self destructive and eliminate themselves from being a threat.

TV it's self shows the failure of trying too hard to sell ideas.  The human mind rejects too much chaos or becomes insane.  An insane mind is not focused, so providing too much information provides no net gain.  (I should know, I am still insane to some degree.  I tied to understand mankind and ended up having to understand and fix myself.  Then I saw mankind as part of myself.)

Foolishness about literal science vs. religion or God is the ultimate foolishness.  This universe is big.  Regardless of what you call it, life and intelligence had the opportunity to also become "big".  What would life and intelligence do if it had an infinitely long time?

Wisdom seems necessary for any intelligence to survive an infinitely long time.  Foolishness can get you killed or destroy your plans.  It does not matter what you believe if you turn out to be wrong and fail.  A little bit of wisdom may be worth more than all the money in the world.  It takes wisdom to understand why.

Infinite Universe - the "Foundation Paradox"

The universe is infinite, at least in concept.  It seems irrational that the foundation of our existence must be infinite.  If it was not infinite, then it seems just as crazy.  This foundation paradox, the nature of space and/or time, has terrified me worse than anything else I have ever experienced.  It is only a thought.  However, it is a thought that defines the truth of reality!

The issue is not just infinity, it is applying infinity to other ideas about the universe.  This one thought seems to separate me from the certainty that many people have about life.

It takes genius to experience the terror of infinity.  I expect that the greater the genius, the greater the terror.  The here and now is my escape.  Here and now is when action can be taken.

The foundation paradox also seems to be how Albert Einstein confirmed his belief in God.  This is interesting because on the internet I have read where "intelligent people" are less likely to believe in God.  If someone considered to be a "role model of a genius" believes in God, then it there any connection between intelligence and belief?  Their argument is that belief in God is not logical.  Do the people claiming against God understand their own faith in a "solid and certain reality" is not fully logical?

(9-20-05:  I discovered websites promoting ideas of multiple universes, as a consequence of quantum mechanics or string theory.  Albert Einstein gave a hint at this idea with his original theory of relativity, E=mc2.  If the the theories of relativity give the appearance that each observer is at their own "center" to the universe, then it almost seems necessary for multiple universes in order to balance the conservation of mass energy on an universal scale [rules must apply universally or else they are not exactly true].  I wrote papers about it in 1995 when I was acting schizophrenic [similar to z-schizophrenia.pdf ].)

See for more of my physics ideas.


It is natural to see patterns in life and believe they define the universe.  I can not be certain that these patterns are permanent.  How would scientists know if fundamental facts about the universe have always been constant?  So often people see a certain pattern or behavior, only to be proven wrong!

The lack of information is a worse problem for humans.  If they never experience an event which kills many people then they tend to ignore the risk.  When chance results in a disaster, many people ask ''why did we not know better.''  This is human history.  Too much certainty and closed minds, too few people with open minds.

Patterns may still hold useful information.  The very nature of the universe suggests that everything is connected, as if the universe is a giant machine.

Like native american indians who saw the circle of life, my faith in God comes from patterns in nature.  Life seems to have a spirit that is more than mere machine.  If our reality was created or influenced by a greater intelligence, then perhaps messages were put into the universe.  God may be giving us more than we realize.


I searched for the true meaning of life.  Common ideas about the meaning of life seemed to destroy life or let it die.  Compassion was the only meaning that existed to serve and protect life.

In the patterns of the universe, and in life, compassion seems to have the most merit.

Recently, I realized that compassion is a less recognized response to fear.  The traditional view is "fight or flight".

My attempt to be an Atheist

I was taught to believe in God, so it is logical to question why.  Only evil would require unquestioning loyalty, because good has no reason to fear the questions.  Albert Einstein, one of my "semi" role models gave me ideas for questing belief in God.  (Einstein seemed to lack compassion in parts of his personal life, which is why I call him a "semi" hero.)

First, why do I believe that I exist in a universe which is "solid", "real", or "physical"?:

(1). I must believe that I exist because of experience ("I think therefore I am.").
(2). I believe that some type of universe exists because of my experience ("I think the universe impacts me deeply.")
(3). How can I prove what is real or not?  What seems logical, or makes sense, could count as real.
(4). At some point I must have faith in explaining how the universe works.  Mental illness has confused my sense of reality in the past.  I had to "knock on wood" to prove what is real.  If it takes faith to believe in reality, then why could I not also believe in God?
(5). Infinity is the strongest argument for or against God.  If my views of infinity are correct, then the odds are that God exists in some way, shape, or form.  Questions about what God is are as challenging as explaining what causes the basic elements of existence.
I see no point to life if I would be an atheist, other than to live and die.  Pigs live and die, so as a human I hope for more in life than a pig.  Belief in God gives me more meaning than being an atheist.


If you believe that God supports war, hate, or killing ... then why expect such a God to care about you?  A God of such selfish desires would lack the compassion to care about your fate.  You would be nothing but a pawn to that God, a thing to be used and tossed away when not needed. (I would sooner be damned than believe in such a God.)

I believe God is compassionate because it is necessary.  Why would God have the lusts and selfishness of man if able to create, influence, or destroy an entire universe?  I am not alone in this belief.  Genesis in the Bible, and in some other religions' versions of it, suggest compassion as a reason for creation.  It is in later events that God is described in selfish tones, filled with common emotion instead of compassion.

It is interesting that Jesus lived a life motivated by compassion, and died for it.  I would expect true followers of Jesus to attempt the same compassion.  Look at "Compassion is a cause of Mental illness?" and "They say that I will kill them".  Do those who claim Jesus understand the hell that I have experienced?  Why would God make me experience this truth?

Am I crazy to believe that compassion is the path to God?

Compassion is how I show my respect and worship God.  I pray to do better.


There is no hell worse than literally being God.  It is easy for man to pretend what being God is like.  To actually know the truth, to care about everything, to be everything, to be a foundation for all of existence ... it is enough of a hell to imagine a small part.  To literally be God is to sacrifice all earthly pleasures for the pain of compassion for all life.

For those who believe that fear of punishment makes a difference, the worst is to be forced to experience a small part of what God must do.  The human mind can not suffer the literal being of God without burning in fire.  Yet it is the love and compassion of God that is why God would exist as such.

I do not fear God because I have opened my mind to truth.  It is God's army that guarded my path so that I could suffer my fate, learn, and change.  My test is to finish the path God started me on.  My reward is everything.

God will carry me where I need to go.

For more reading, try Mental illness is creativity or danger?

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Mankind could not grow without free will and the experience of evil.  The wisdom of God is the compassion to allow experience.  Those who hide from painful truths become machines.  Those who see the wisdom and try to destroy evil with compassion learn the path to lasting life.

It is all in the math.  Only certain solutions can survive infinity.  God is not great, for God suffers the pain of all denied compassion.  Angels serve out understanding and respect, not fear.

There is no substitute for experience.  Evil assumes to know truth, or create it.  See for yourself.

This world may not want to be a better place.  However I will be damned if I let it go to hell! - by Michael John Lake +